
You’ve made the decision to terminate your marriage. Like a lot of people, now that you have made the decision you are ready to get started. Now, what if you have no idea where your spouse is? Now you are faced with the challenge of divorcing a hard-to-find spouse. Fortunately, you can still move forward legally. The real task is knowing how to locate them (or document that you tried). Our blog can help you locate and divorce your Waldo.
Below are tips for you to find your spouse and get the next chapter of your life started.
Start with the basics: Before diving into official searches, start with the simplest sources:
- Family members and close friends
Sometimes a spouse communicates more with relatives during a separation.
- Mutual friends or coworkers
They may know where your spouse moved or where they are working. - Old addresses or phone numbers
Even outdated information can lead to new clues. - Check their social media footprint –Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc.
When reaching out, be polite and concise. You don’t need to overshare—just state that you’re attempting to contact your spouse for legal purposes.
Review of Financial and Household Records
If you shared finances or accounts, you might already have access to useful information:
- Bank or credit card statements (showing recent activity locations)
- Utility bills (indicating service addresses)
- Insurance records
- Employment information from previous years
Use Government and Public Records
Many records are publicly accessible:
- Property records
- Court filings
- Driver’s license address updates (varies by region)
- Voter registration
- Business licenses
In some locations, you can search these online.
Hire a Private Investigator
If your spouse is avoiding you, this route may be beneficial for your situation especially if other methods have failed.
A professional investigator can:
- Do skip-tracing
- Review databases not available to the public
- Conduct discreet surveillance
- Confirm addresses for proper legal service
PIs are often more affordable than most people expect, and they can significantly speed up the process.
If you really cannot find them, try Service by Publication.
Unlike the objective of the Where’s Waldo books, you do not need to locateyour spouse to get divorced, if you follow lawful procedures.
If your spouse truly cannot be located, you may ask the court for permission to serve them through alternative means, such as:
- Service by publication (posting the divorce notice in a newspaper)
- Service by posting (public notice within the courthouse)
Courts approve this only after you show you made a good-faith effort to locate your spouse. Keep detailed records of everything you attempted.
Consult a Family Law Attorney
Even if you plan to handle the divorce yourself, a consultation can help you:
- Understand your state or country’s requirements
- Avoid mistakes that cause delays
- Know how to document your search efforts properly
- Learn the fastest route to a default divorce if your spouse never responds
Legal advice early on saves time, stress, and money later. Trolinger Law Office can help you with this process use this link to Schedule a 15 minute intake call.
Final Thoughts
Divorcing a hard-to-find spouse can feel overwhelming and emotionally draining, but you’re not powerless. With a combination of personal outreach, online tools, legal strategies, and (if needed) professional help, you can move forward—even if your spouse is nowhere to be found.
The important thing is to stay organized, stay ethical, and follow the proper legal steps. You deserve closure and the ability to move on with your life.

